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I clean thesink, wipe every work surface and polish the table. I hoover thefloor and tidy everything away. It is all spotless for mymistress.I lay two places at the table for my mistress and me and thenprepare the sprouts. At the pre-arranged time of one o'clock onthe dot, I am carving the joint and serving the food as Leahcomes into the room.She looks incredibly sexy in her tartan mini-skirt. In truth, itis a little too short but who cares? Her black bra is visiblethrough her top. She has a great body and lovely long legs. Notonly do I admire her outfit but I am a little envious until Iremember that I am wearing my favourite outfit.In her stilettos, she is nearly as tall as me. Her makeup issubtle but striking. It is hard to take my eyes off her. Icurtsey. "Lunch is ready, madam. Please sit down."She examines the dining table. "Why have you laid two places?"she asks crossly."For you and me," I answer."A servant can't sit at the same table as her mistress." Sorry, ma'am, I. . ish.The tee shot needs to have at least a 200 yard carry to get over the purple heather in front of you and down both sides of the fairway. My drive was anything but straight ... ish and landed in deep heather, having being blocked out right by my errant swing. I then had one of those Hamlet moments (popular small cigar) where a cigar would have been preferable than to try to hack out the little bugger, followed by a putt for double bogey. Great start! At least I kept the ball.Hole 2. Par 4, 407 yards long with a blind tee shot to a narrow fairway. A blind man would have made a better attempt at finding the short stuff than I did. I had another hamlet moment to get out of the heather that grows profusely on each bank forming the valley of the hole. Again, I managed to keep the ball, but thought seriously about chucking it in the bushes.Hole 3. 177 yards long. Par 3. I managed to miss the heather and the bunkers on the right. I also managed to miss the green but did hit the steep.
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